you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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