Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize