I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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