I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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