even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
