i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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