now i know why i became what i already was.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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