yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
