why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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