ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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