The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
