She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize