the condom got lost in my hair
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
