Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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