I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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