am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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