so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
