Do you still have your period?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
