It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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