We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
