Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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