I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You ate ashes out of my bong
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
