But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I need to stop coming to work sober
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
