Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
