I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
