Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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