I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
