i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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