Do you still have your period?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
