I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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