I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
