I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Rumble strips road head = magical
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I touched a dick in church today
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
