I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
