perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
