I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
