so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
