is your mom at the bar?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
