Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
