I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
