My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
