He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
