Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
