Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize