My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
