My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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