so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
