The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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