To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
