When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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