we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
