Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
