Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This toilet bowl is my home.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
