I'm jealous of your bromance
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
