I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize