Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
