You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We just shotgunned beers for America
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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