I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
