She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
