no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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