Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
